First Loves Last Forever
by thenostalgicdreamer
Summary: Joe remembers his first love.


_This was written to address some of your questions about Iola. Same as my other Iola fic, it was written to allow for blue spine or casefiles canon because I still can't decide what happened to Iola in my version of the Hardy Boys universe. The title of this story and its last line come from a song called "First Loves" by Paul McDonald. Some of the description of Iola is inspired by a line from a song called "scar on my hand" by Youtube music artist Rusty Clanton. The line is as follows: if you give me a word, I'll keep on believing that there's still room in a heart when it's already full._

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She's there in this dull ache that never ever stops. Sometimes he remembers her—sees her pixie face or her sparkling brown eyes in his mind—and wonders why it was all over so soon. Maybe it had seemed long at the time, but it definitely doesn't now. It was far too short perhaps because it was shorter than forever. But think what he might, it's over now, and he'll always remember—a small maybe decreasing but always existent part of him will always be there.

Most people think that Nancy was his first love, but that isn't really true. Maybe they have been friends since childhood, and she was the first girl he saw the day he realized that girls are beautiful. But she wasn't his first love. What he felt for her then was mere infatuation—an admiration of her beauty, her intelligence, and her strength that didn't go any deeper than the surface. It hadn't been her that he loved as much as these abstract qualities that inspired his deepest respect and admiration. He hadn't known that then. He had thought he loved her. But that was before he had ever been in love; he didn't know any differently then.

No, it was Iola who first captured his heart and turned his life upside-down. That wasn't how things started though. For years, she had been Chet's little sister all too eager to make herself a place with the boys and keep up with everything they did. Her endless finagling and maneuvering were lost on Joe who was all too concerned with proving he was equal to the older Frank and still older Chet. At home, Joe was treated as Frank's equal, but the presence of someone older than Frank made Joe feel like the younger one. In the midst of it all, Iola was completely lost on Joe who only ever had his eyes on the other boys.

As they grew older, Joe became conscious of the fact that Iola was deeply aware of his existence. She was always trying to get his attention it seemed by doing over-the-top things that made him react. Sometimes, she walked on the top of the corral fence. That always made him nervous because he was sure she would fall. When he complained, she always just jumped off the fence to the ground. Or other times she grabbed the garden snake the boys were holding and let it wrap itself around her neck. It was like she was trying to shove who she was in his face. Chet always dismissed it as her simply being Iola, but Joe wondered how he said that so nonchalantly when she was different from everyone else and that made her endearing.

As time passed, Joe found himself paying more attention Iola. Even though he was no stranger to attention from girls, this was different. It wasn't this infatuation with his charm and good looks. No, Iola knew him as a person and doubtlessly appreciated what made him who he was. She was trying to impress him but not like the other girls did by wearing too much makeup, alluding to going out, and trying to act as mature as possible. She was doing it by being even more fearlessly herself than normal. She walked around town in t-shirts from a band no one knew and challenged him to race her at cleaning stalls sure she'd win.

That fierce individuality only grew on him with time. Iola was unlike the other girls he'd known. She wanted him, yes, that was dreadfully obvious especially as time passed but only to add to her already full life. She didn't need him to be happy; she was in love with life a fact that you saw in her every smile and heard in her every laugh. She was merely asking him to join her in appreciating life, and he realized that that was something that he wanted very much.

So he had asked her to date him. Her immediate reply had been a squeal. On anyone else, it would have been wrong because it would have been fake, but what you saw was what you got with Iola. That squeal had been the only way her heart knew to express the joy she felt in that moment. She had told him later that she had wanted to pull him into the tightest hug only to be met by a sudden moment of reserve. So she had only said yes and told him how happy she would be to go out with him like three times.

After that, they had just been together. Thinking back now, he realizes that he didn't know what to expect. She was his first love after all. But dating Iola had been wonderful. They had been so happy to be together; there was always this quiet undercurrent of confidence. Joe had always known that as much as he loved her she loved him just that much in return, and he knew she knew that too. He could see it in her eyes—that perfect, unbroken trust. They both hadn't changed when they started dating, merely took down the barriers that kept them from being who they truly were. Iola he had soon discovered had this whole quirky side that he had somehow missed all these years. Now, she was letting it show, and it was beautiful.

As happy as they were though, they had argued a lot. He was hotheaded; words came quickly to her tongue. He hates to think of the things he said when he thought she was being stubborn about something stupid. She stood up for things on principle, and he knows he sometimes disagreed just because he was feeling contrary. But as intense as the arguments were, they never lasted long. Both of them loved each other too much to not get away and immediately regret it. There many apologies made and much forgiveness given those years.

Through it all, they grew. They came to understand life better, to know themselves and each other better. Their loud, intense personalities made them look much more similar than they were. So many differences lay beneath the surface. He was impatient about finishing school; she suggested a different restaurant if there were more than five people ahead of them in line. He kept her occupied in line and helped her learn patience, and she inspired him to find joy and purpose in the now. She was organized and structured; he scattered and sometimes messy. She always had ideas for making his life easier; he helped her find ways to get around the structure that kept her from living life to the absolute fullest. They had grown and learned life together. She had taught him so much about life and holding onto hope. She had been this ray of sunshine, so bright and constant that the warmth and light had filled him inside.

Despite all the joy they found together, Joe didn't know the depths of what she meant to him until it was all over so unexpectedly he never could have predicted it. One day, she was his; the next she was gone. The joy was instantly replaced with pain, sharp and achy. He suddenly could feel the way she had been wrapped around his heart, how many of his thoughts and hopes and dreams had to do with the bright girl who was his no longer.

With that had come darkness. He had never known heartbreak or pain, and in his naivety had perhaps not truly believed they existed. But now he did, consciousness of that ugliness filled his every waking moment leaving him a person he had never been before. He could not go back. You can't see all of that, become convinced of its reality, and go back to the carefree, starry eyed person you were before. He was changed forever.

He's doing better now. His eyes have been opened again to see that beauty and hope still exist. And he's holding onto them cautiously. He has found love for himself, for life, for a different girl. He's alright. But he'll never forget Iola as long as he lives. She's still part of him and always will be. He still thinks of her and sometimes sees her sparkling brown eyes and pixie face when he closes his eyes. He has moved on, but still he loves her. And he always will—first loves last forever after all.

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For those of you who are wondering, the next chapter of Anchor is in progress and will hopefully be up somewhat soon. Thanks for all your reviews and encouragement to keep writing. I appreciate all of you a lot. I'd love to know what stood out to you about this.


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